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Dec 26, 2011

Guess he can't wait for Reagh!

TJ hanging out in Reagh's room. Guess he's finding the wait long...I would have to agree!

Dec 16, 2011

New Pictures!I

I want to thank Janene for getting these to me!

Dec 5, 2011

My Baby Boy Turns 1 today...

I wish that I was in China to celebrate my son's first birthday. I know that I'm leaving in 32 days to go get him and that's exciting for us. It's just that it hit me...we missed so much this past year with him. I know we will have many years a head of us as a family and knowing that fills my heart with joy. It's just that this day is a very special one.... as his mom I wish I could be there to celebrate with him. It's just going to be a hard day. I do want to wish him a very Happy Birthday, and we love you very much.

I did send a care package today for his birthday in hopes they take lots of pictures of him for us. Maybe will get some of them soon.

Nov 28, 2011

119 Days later....and it's finally signed!

We went in today and signed our LOA. It's a load off our backs that it finally came and we are in the clear to travel. Though, is it weird to say that it still feels like a dream? It's been so many years talking about having children that it's hard to believe that Reagh is going to be in our arms in just over a month. We have almost felt like we had an imaginary child for so long that it's hard sometimes to wrap it around your head that he's real. Not to mention that in 38 days we will be leaving here to go and get him. I can't wait!

Nov 25, 2011

New Pictures!

LOA Finally here!

We finally got the call from the agency to sign our LOA. Hard to believe that it only took 115 days to get here! Either way I feel much better on having paid for our tickets yesterday now knowing that it's finally here. I know that things are going to be fast moving from here on out. I will be glad when the holidays are over so I can get my mind on traveling. It's hard to believe that in 42 days we will be leaving!!!!

Nov 24, 2011

Tickets are booked!

I took the chance today and got our tickets for China. We leave Jan 6th and are back Jan 20th! Can't wait! My tummy has been in knots all day just thinking about it. Hard to believe that in just over a month we will hold our dear son for the first time. Can't wait!!!!!

I Pooh in Blue....makes me laugh every time.

Nov 23, 2011

Not sure what to do.

I'm not sure what to do. I have been told that I will be on the Jan travel group BUT I haven't received my LOA yet. Is this normal? We got the call to book our tickets today but I held off till I call the province to see about our LOA. I'm a little nervous to buy our tickets until we sign our LOA. Has anyone else been in this situation before????

Nov 20, 2011

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed.

I had gotten a packing list from a few people over the last week and decided to start picking up a few things on it. When I started out this afternoon I was excited and looking forward to it all. Though, to my surprise I found myself feeling overwhelmed standing in the baby section. I'm not sure if any of you first time mom's out there felt like this or not, but it was so bad for me that I just wanted to run out of there. I was trying to figure out what type of diaper rash cream to get. I know that you might be wondering why diaper rash cream would be overwhelming for someone. I just was standing there looking at all the different types and felt that like what the heck am I doing. I couldn't even figure out what type of diaper cream to that weird or what? I stood there feeling so lost. Then I started to panic....I have no idea what a 1 year old wants or needs. Just as I was about to just give up and walk away, a girl asked me what to get a 1 month old. Seriously??? I stood there looking at her with a dumb fast and said I have no idea. As she looked at me with a twisted face, all I could do is walk away with my cart and make a fast track to the check out. Once I got to the car I had a little bit of a melt down. If I can't even pick out diaper rash am I going to be a good mom.

Nov 17, 2011

Need some help!

For all those families that have traveled to get your child, I need some help. I'm wondering what you would say to someone that is going to get their child should take with them. I always find that once you get there you always wish that you took something along with you. If anyone out there has any suggestions please leave a suggestion!


Nov 14, 2011

Traveling in January!

I word this evening that we will get our LOA very soon. Just waiting for the call from the Province to go and sign it. I was also told that our travel date is going to be Jan 7-19th!!!!! I can't wait. Now I just need to figure out what the heck will to take with me.

Plus his crib arrived and will be put up this weekend. More pictures to come!!!!


105 days and waiting....Though His room is almost done!



Once these are dry they will go up on the green wall above his crib when that comes.

Nov 9, 2011

100 days and still no LOA BUT I got a picture!

Thanks to Steff for sending me this picture from China of Reagh. He was sleeping the day they went to visit the orphanage.

Our sleeping Prince!

Nov 7, 2011

98 Days still no LOA

Really? I just like to know when we can go and get our baby boy. Not to much to ask for.

Nov 5, 2011

Reagh Turns 11 Months

Reagh turns 11 Months today and we still haven't gotten any word on when we will be traveling. 96 days and still waiting for our LOA.

Nov 1, 2011

Still no LOA

It's been 92 days and we still haven't gotten our LOA. I would feel more confident about this whole thing once this comes. I got word that it could take up to another 3 weeks before we hear anything. So this means that I will have another three weeks to tell people I don't know anything. I just would love to know the date we are leaving so I can just say that and people will ease up on all the I know that they just want this to happen for us. It's just hard knowing nothing.

I'm feeling down and miss our son. I was on such a high with some pictures coming in that I was hoping that we could get some new ones soon. I find that keep me going till we get him. This is sure the hardest part of the wait for sure. I know longer have a faceless child in my dreams or thoughts when thinking of our future as a family. I just want him in our arms.


Oct 27, 2011

Starting Reagh's room....


I got word back from our agency and we won't be getting our LOA for another 2-3 weeks. Then our TA will be another 4-5 weeks after that. There's no Travel group in Dec so lets hope that the one in Jan is early Jan!

Oct 25, 2011

85 days,,,,

85 Days and still no LOA. This has been the hardest wait ever. Now I only wish there was a travel group in Dec so we can have our son for Christmas. I know it's only a few weeks after that we will have him in our arms's still a few weeks he'll have to wait for his mother and father....that pulls on the heart strings.

Oct 18, 2011

79 Days and waiting....

It's been many years waiting for the day to hear we have a referral and now that it has finally come the wait has gotten harder. I keep looking at Reagh's picture and wonder when am I going to have him in our arms. I just want that day to be now.

Sep 26, 2011

Finally It's been Changed!

We got word from CIC today that our file is now stating we are adopting from China! I feel better about the whole thing now. I guess emailing our MP helped a great deal. I can finally relax a bit about this whole thing.

Now it's just a wait for our LOA and TA!

Sep 19, 2011

Changing faces with a Smile

Still no change

I don't understand why it takes so long to change over our file from Ethiopia to China. We've been trying to get this switched over for months now. I don't understand why one person says not to worry we have it all cleared up for us in a few weeks....its now months. I don't get it!

I have contacted our MP to see if he could get to the bottom of it and help us out. I hope that this can be done soon.

53 days and waiting for our LOA on top of all of this....can we say stressed!

Sep 12, 2011

So Upset

As some of you know we decided to switch programs and go with the SN program with China. We knew that there could be a few hiccups along the way but never like this. We informed the CIC department of us changing programs and how to change our Citizenship part one file to be with China now. Well to my surprise it still states Ethiopia as the country of adoption. We've been in contact with the government months ago over this. We even followed up with a few phone calls and emails about it waiting for a letter to be sent to us with the new country on it. After a few weeks of no news TJ called them this morning. The file still states Ethiopia as the country of adoption. I'm so pissed off! They gave him the run around again and said it will take another 30 days to get done. Since we didn't keep a log of all the phone calls and the person we talked to we are out of luck. I'm not going to stand around for this to take 30 days. If they did this the first time we wouldn't have to wait another 30 days. I'm so upset right now that I could kick a can to the moon!

My advice to anyone out there that is thinking to do the same....keep a log of every time you call and whom you talked to.


Sep 6, 2011

Love emails that have photo's of Reagh!

I was working today feeling a little blue due to the weather until I got a email on my phone. To my surprise I got an update from our agency about Reagh. They gave me an update on his weight and height. It seems he got taller but has lost some weight. He had a fever so they had to shave his hair that he just got in to put in a IV for him. My poor little guy has gone through so much. I started to feel a little sad until I seen these pictures. He's in good spirit and seems to be in good health.



Sep 2, 2011

New Photo's of Reagh

I got an email from a lovely lady yesterday that happened to be adopting a child from the same orphanage as Reagh. In this email I got pictures she has of my son. He's the one in a pink shirt. Some of the pictures are not up close of him but it's so nice to see a few of him again. Here he is!!!

Aug 29, 2011

Having a rough day....

It's been a month since we were told we were going to be a family of three. There hasn't been a day go by that I haven't thought of our little boy. I know that in a few short months we will have him in our arms forever but today has been a hard day knowing that he's so far away. I found myself crying off and on all day long. I think that people must have thought I was crazy in Walmart. I went by the baby section and to only find myself surrounded by mom's with babies every where. I felt like I didn't belong there as our son is still in China. Then came the water works. I soon got what I needed and headed out the door. Maybe it's the wait that is getting to me. I do agree that the referral high does wear off and now I just want to be holding my son.

I love you Reagh.

Aug 21, 2011

Dealing with comments

I've done well with people making comments over the years about adopting internationally. I know that adopting isn't for anyone or the fact that our child is from another race. I've taken comments in stride and try to educate people on why we decided that international adoption was the right choice for us. I think when comments are made from people who aren't close to us I'm more prepared for them to have negative feelings over our decision. Most of the comments that are made are comments I'm hearing on a regular bases. It's when you family who are well aware of the all the hurtles it took us to get where we are today still have no clue of the things they say hurt. I know that some might not realize what they are saying hurts, but when do you say the comments are uncalled for? I don't want my child to grow up with feeling that he doesn't really belong because he was adopted or always be referred to the adopted child when being introduced. He will be accepted as a full family member or they won't have an active role in my son's life. I don't think that is much to ask for. Do you?

Aug 4, 2011

We got word from CCAA

It looks like out status changed of our intent to adopt Reagh. Looks like we got conditional approval to adopt him. It will be fully approved one they assess our full Dossier. Things are moving forward! Let keep our fingers crossed that we don't get any speed bumps along the way. I think we had enough of them over the last few year.

Aug 1, 2011

My Sagittarius Baby!

The child of Sagittarius is an adventurer, restless and funny. Sagittarius Baby has a very good sense of humour, like a small clown. Whenever he laughs, everyone is affected by his joy. As he grows he will show his restlessness and charm. He will travel all over the house, then the neighbourhood, and then the entire world. His curiosity and energy are unbounded. He is always asking questions; he wants to know everything and sometimes presses very hard with his endless questions.
He reacts against orders; he only obeys if he thinks it is logical. His inquisitive and reasonable mind is always analysing the orders. To get his cooperation on any subject, parents must appeal to his sense of justice and honesty. If his parents keep him confined all day long or they inhibit his fantasies, he might lose his motivation. He loves to be outside and he loves sports, in which he will probably be fantastic. Friends love him and they are always looking for him, because he is always making people laugh. Though he shows authority and enthusiasm, inside he is not very strong and he needs support for his enterprises. He is ingenuous and people can easily influence him, so his parents should always keep an eye on his friends. His sense of freedom becomes stronger in adolescence and he may leave home early.

At school Sagittarius Baby can be inconstant, because everything depends on his enthusiasm. If he gets bored, he will not be a good student, but if he finds subjects that interest him, he will learn very quickly. His mentality is multifaceted and is fed by his curiosity. The more dynamic his education is, the better. It is extraordinarily easy for him to learn languages, and he is also fond of religion. He is likely to go through changes in his faith and religion while searching for the truth. As he has an adventurous spirit, he is likely to live in another country.

This child does not have a head for finances. Parents must teach him how to deal with money, and to save some, in order to avoid future financial problems. Parents should not be soft on this point. If he spends a week's allowance in one day, he must live the rest of the week penniless. Though this seems rather harsh, it will be very positive for the development of his conscience.

Sagittarius Baby's adventurous spirit is also obvious in matters of the heart. Boys and girls of this sign experience many romances during their adolescence and sometimes more than one at a time. The Sagittarius child is very independent, outgoing and restless. He needs friends for his endless adventures, rather than strong and authoritative parents. He needs to know that his parents have confidence in what he is doing on his own, in order to hit every target he aims at with his bow and arrow.

Jul 28, 2011

Jul 27, 2011

Thank you!

I just wanted to Thank everyone for the congratulations. It's means the word to us to know that we have so many people out there supporting us. It's been a very bumpy road to get to this point and I can honestly say that Reagh has been worth the wait. I love him so much already. I can't stop looking at his picture by my bed and dream of the future with him. I feel that there's been a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I can't wait to meet our son!

Thank you all for your support!


Jul 26, 2011

We got a Referral!!!!!!!

I must say that I will never forget this day. Today I seen our son for the very first time. Yes you heard me right....We have a SON! As we sit here and look at his picture it's hard to believe that he will be in our arms in the next few months. We've waited for this day for so long. His name is going to be Reagh Thomas Keenan. He was born Dec 5/10. So he's almost 8 months old. It's hard to believe as we thought we would never get a referral for a child under the age of one. He was born with a Cleft lip and palate. He's had his lip repaired and will need some more repairs once he gets home. Besides that he's very healthy and very active. We will be running once he gets home. I have pictures but I'm not sure when we are allowed to post them on here. Once I find out that it's okay I will post his pic asap! I still can't believe that he's ours....We love him so much. He's our little Mister Man!

Jul 22, 2011

New list coming....

I heard that there will be a new list coming out on Monday night. I need some positive vibes sent my way!!!!! I'm praying for some boys this time around.


Jul 20, 2011


When we decided to adopt from Ethiopia I wanted to do something for the children in the orphanages. I decided to ask family and friends for donation to buy some shoes to take with us on the day we go to adopt our child. Now all of you know that dream of adopting from Ethiopia has taken a turn and had no idea what we were going to do with all those shoes.
Then TJ came home one day from work telling me that one of his staff members were going to be taking a leave from work to work in Haiti to help the people after the devastating Earthquake that had happened. This is what she wrote to us in an email after taking the shoes to much needed orphans.

Hi TJ,

Haiti was a very hard trip. For our two week duration we laughed, cried and created memories with the children of the orphanage. Learning their stories was absolutely heartbreaking; their tiny and frail AIDS-ridden bodies don't stand a chance in this complex world.

But the shoes. The shoes were truly a gift that were not only given to the children but also to me. We waited until our second week to distribute the shoes and I'm glad that we did. The kids were excited beyond excited when they realized what we had for them. The most heartwarming part, though, was a little girl named Mylove.

Mylove is 1.5 years old and lost both her mother and father to AIDS. She was under the care of her uncle when he put her in the care of the orphanage as he could no longer afford her upkeep. Her uncle visits her but his visitations are becoming less and less frequent. Mylove is a very quiet and secluded child who seems scared of a lot of things. While we were at the orphanage she kept to herself and often sat in the corner by herself watching others play. She never smiled, never talked.

When we were giving out the shoes I watched her as her interest was captured. She was curious about what we had and seemed to want to engage. So I called to her as I had done many times on the trip but this time she responded. A smile crept across her face as I slipped a pair of tiny pink shoes on her feet. She stood up from my lap where she was sitting, stomped her feet on the ground, and started to dance.

This child who had not moved from the corner, had not smiled and had not interacted with others started to dance. She danced and danced and danced with the biggest smile you could imagine; at that moment I realized just how amazing this gift was.

You gave a little girl her dancing shoes, you gave her confidence. You gave me a memory I will cherish forever and a reason to continue with this difficult work.

Thanks to you and Kelly for this.

Peace and blessings,

Jul 17, 2011

Nothing new...

We are more then half way through July and I have nothing to report as of yet. I'm not sure when the next list will be coming out, so until then I guess I will have to try to keep myself busy. Thank heavens I start back to work on Monday after a boring vacation. At least that will keep me busy till the next list.

Jun 29, 2011

What to do??

Ok, since we didn't get a referral this month and I'm needing to have to come up with something fun to do to keep my mind off of things. I looking for ideas people!!!!! Can anyone suggests something to do?

Jun 28, 2011

No phone call :(

Well, we didn't make this round it seems. I guess there's always hope to see if any files are put back on the list. As much as I wish that it would be this month.... I'm thinking that we'll have to wait for the next list. Guess I'll have to find something to keep myself busy till then.


Today is a good day.

Will it be a great day? Hopefully we'll know in a few hours :)

Jun 27, 2011

New list comes out tonight!!!

It looks like a new list comes out tonight! Looks like we might have a chance to get a referral in the next 48 hours! My stomach is in knots. I don't know if I will be able to sleep tonight at all. Let it be this List...PLEASE!

Jun 24, 2011

New List coming...

I heard through the grape vine that there will be a new list coming out this coming week. Let keep our fingers crossed for some good news for all of us that are waiting for referrals!

Jun 19, 2011

Another week goes by no Referral.

To keep myself busy this week I've decided to get a few things prepared before the little one gets here. Here are a few things we got this week.

Here are a few things my mom got our little China Bear on her trip to the States. I must say this little one is going to be looking good with all these clothes.

TJ's last father's Day alone...

I think sometimes we forget how stressful these holidays can be on our husbands. Tj gave me a little reminder yesterday that he wonders if anyone would have given him some kind words today in support. Well he got one this morning and I have to post it so everyone can see. It ment a lot to him.

Hi Kelly and T.J.
For some reason I am thinking about you right at this moment. :) Its 1:00am here and I just wanted to say Happy Fathers Day! I don't want to make you feel sad or bad or anything but some little boy out there is waiting just like you are and it made me so happy to think that this is his last year never having a Father and Mother either. So T.J, Happy Fathers Day because you are one! You have done more waiting, hoping, praying and longing for that little boy than most Fathers ever have to do for their children and you haven't even met him yet. (You too Kelly!)
I sure hope that your referral soon! We are thinking about you often, not usually in the middle of the night when we're sleeping though. :)

I just wanted to say Thank you Catherine! You sure made him smile this morning.


Jun 13, 2011

Feeling low today...

I was hoping for a "call" today. I know that I'm jumping the gun to even think that we would have a referral already but a part of me was really hoping the phone would ring today. I know there's an updated list that will come at the end of the month and I pray it will come with a referral for us. I just feel that we have been waiting so long and have gone through so much. At this point weeks feel like years now. Come on phone RING!!!!! Needing all positive vibes to come this way.

Jun 9, 2011

We got our LID!!!!

I got word this evening that our Log in Date (LID) is June 1st. That is one step closer to our son. Now I just want to phone to ring with a referral! I hope that it won't be too much longer.

Jun 2, 2011

Still no LID

I got word today that we still have no LID. I feel a little down about it. I was really hoping that we would have one by now. Lets keep our fingers crossed for next week.

May 24, 2011

No LID till next week...bummer!

Since the new shared list came out this week, I was hoping that my LID would be in on time. I talked to our agency and they had called last night for it but seems it won't be here till next week. Looks like I missed out on the shared list this month. Which I had a good feeling we wouldn't get a referral this month....still a bummer. Guess it means we will be hoping for next month. Keeping my fingers crossed!

May 16, 2011

File has landed!

I got an update from our province that our file has officially landed in China!!!! It's really starting to feel real. Now lets hope for a quick LID and then we will be officially waiting for a referral!!!! I hope we won't wait long. I can't wait for the day I can wrap my arms around our son for the first time. I just got goose bumps!

May 11, 2011

A little worried but going to keep positive.

I've talked to a few people about how long it should take to get a LID (log in date) once my file hits China. It seems that I got a few different answers. Once stated that things are running a little long and hearing that always worries me. After what we had already gone through it's only natural that when hearing that there are delays makes a red flag go up. I'm really hoping that things are going to be okay and we will get one soon after our file reaches China. Not to mention a speedy referral would be AWESOME

May 10, 2011

Dossier has left for China!!!!!!!

I got word today that our province has sent our file to China this morning! I can't wait for it to get there. They didn't give us the tracking number to see how it gets there. I hope that they will send it to me tomorrow. One step closer to our forever family!

May 9, 2011

I survived Mother's Day!

When work up on Mother's day I have to admit I had a smile on my face. I was surprised by it but there was a part of me that was happy to be celebrating my last one without a little one. As much as I dread this day each year this was the first time that I was ok. That I knew in my heart that my dream of becoming a mom was just around the corner. That makes me smile each and every time!

I also got a few emails and texted from friends letting me know that they were thinking of me. I can't tell you how much that ment to me. I'm so glad that there are so many that are there to support me through this adventure. I'm lucky to have you guys in my life!

May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day!

I just wanted to say Happy Mother's Day to my Mom. Hope you have a wonderful day.

May 3, 2011

Needing Help.

My family want to get a few things for us for our little China Bear. The funny thing is....I have no idea what to even get for him. Hope this doesn't make me a bad parent already. LOL. I just don't know about sizes to even suggest to get or what he will need for the house. For example does a toddler need a high chair? I just think that we need to start on a few of the bigger things so it's not a huge expense later. If anyone one out there could help me out I would be totally greatful! Thanks!

May 2, 2011

OK....I'm getting Excited!!!!!

Got word from our agency that our file is ready to be sent back to PEI for it to be sent off to China this week!!!!! Then the offical wait will begin for a referral. I can't believe that it's all coming together for us. Now I just wonder how long of a wait we will have for a referral for our son! Either way I guess I will have to get his room started!

Apr 27, 2011

Took this from Ruth Blog.......What adoption might feel like.....

About a year ago, I read an article by Cynthia Hockman-Chupp, an article that first went to print in the Adoption Parenting publication. Hockman-Chupp is a writer and an adoptive parent, and she wrote the following analogy to help all pre-adoptive parents understand what adoption might feel like from a child's perspective. It haw haunted me since first reading it. Here it is in its entirety.

A Different Perspective

Imagine for a moment...

You have met the person you’ve dreamed about all your life. He has every quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying every free moment with your fiancĂ©e. You love his touch, his smell, the way he looks into your eyes. For the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by “soul mate,” for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every joy, his every sorrow.

The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you are finally the wife of this wonderful man. You fall asleep that night, exhausted from the day’s events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge that you are next to the person who loves you more than anyone in the world...the person who will be with you for the rest of your life.

The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner’s arms. You open your eyes and immediately look for his face. But it’s not him! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror. Who is this man? Where is your beloved?

You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he doesn’t understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you, pat you on the back...even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay. But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will he return? When? What has happened to him?

Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn’t speak your lan- guage-either verbally or emotionally. He doesn’t seem to realize the terrible thing that has happened...that your sweetheart is gone.

You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bed-time with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact. Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are learning to trust this new guy. He’s finally learned that you like your coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don’t understand his bedtime songs, you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it.

More time passes. One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing is familiar. Where are you? Where is he taking you? You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You are confused. And worried.

The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously thrilled to see you. You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles (although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the back, and puts your hand in the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as the elevator doors close on you and the new guy.

The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile, so you grin back, wanting to “get along.” You board a plane. The flight is long. You sleep a lot, wanting to mentally escape from the situation.
Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to another guy who hugs you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you a big hug and messes your hair. Finally, some-one (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the biggest hug you’ve ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons to you in some language you’ve never heard before.

He leads you to a car and drives you to another location. Everything here looks different. The climate is not what you’re used to. The smells are strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if someone told him that you like your coffee black. You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours, staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and tries to comfort you with soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to asleep.

People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new guy’s hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling at how quickly you’ve fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the happiness. Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away. Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at this house is nice and you’re hanging on for dear life, you’ve learned from experience that men come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along.

Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new guy to yelp in pain. He just looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait.

How would each of us handle all these changes? How would this impact us for the rest of our lives?

©2006-8 Cynthia Hockman-Chupp. Cynthia is an adoptive parent, teacher, and writer who has learned the most about parenting from her children. She operates a website with Heidi Louella, another adoptive parent and teacher, called with great information for families that are dealing with the challenges of attachment in young children. Her analogy is courtesy of Dr. Kali Miller, an attachment therapist.
This article was originally published in Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections published by EMK Press. This 520 page parenting book is a tapestry of contributions from over 100 adoptive parents, adoption experts, birth parents, and parents who have become experts to parent the children who have come to them. It is available from EMK Press, 16 Mt. Bethel Road, #216, Warren, NJ 07059 732-469-7544 • 732-469-7861 fax •

Starting to set in.....

My hubby has been playing with the blog. I hope that you guys like it. He felt that we needed a bust to get into the celebration of what is about to come into our lives! It's hard to believe that in a few short months we will have a picture of our son! Not to mention that we only have a few months to get prepared for this little one coming into our lives. I'm excited and scared all at the same time. I'm finally going to be a mom!

Apr 25, 2011

Apr 22, 2011

Looking forward to Change.....

As I woke up this beautiful day.....I looked at the sun shining in the window of Reagh's room. At that moment I had such joy in my heart that in just a few months he'll be here waking up each morning. I can't explain how peaceful it was sitting there. While in that moment I felt like everything was going to be ok. It was almost like a huge weigh was lifted off my shoulders. As I sat on his bed letting the sun hit my face all I could do is smile. I can't wait for the day of seeing him here each and every day. How life is going to I'm looking forward to it.

Apr 19, 2011


Our dossier is in the authentication process. Best guess at the moment is that it will come out of the embassy right after Easter; back to the province by end-next week and then on to China. It's getting closer!!!!! I'm getting excited. Let's hope that things keep moving smoothly.

Apr 12, 2011

Imagine Adoption Charges

Imagine Adoption charges a relief: family

Former general manager Rick Hayhow and founder Susan Hayhow were arrested Thursday. Waterloo Police and the RCMP have charged them with breach of trust, six counts of fraud over $5,000, and three counts of fraud under $5,000. Each is facing one additional charge of fraud over $5,000.

The charges relate to around $420,000 of funds that allegedly were misused for personal vacations, clothing and renovations to the couple's Cambridge, Ont. home.

The Ontario-based international adoption company went bankrupt in 2009, leaving the adoption process of at least 350 families across Canada in limbo. It was restructured with the help of donations from prospective adopters, including at least seven families from P.E.I.

Tammy MacKinnon, spokeswoman for the P.E.I. Adoption Coalition, told CBC News Monday the charges were a long time in coming, but families are relieved people are being held accountable for what happened.

'It doesn't help my family'
Brenton Dickieson and his wife have been trying to adopt a child from Ethiopia through Imagine Adoption. "It was obvious to all of us who were involved that there was severe mismanagement and probably crimes involved. I was pleased that there are charges that resulted," he said.

"Sometimes these things don't always come true the way that you would expect them to and having them face penalties for that is good, but it doesn't help my family. And it doesn't help people who have dreams of adopting internationally."

Dickieson said it's sad that this case has caused so much hurt to hundreds of families across Canada and has damaged international adoptions. He still hopes for an Ethiopian adoption to come through.

There were eight families on P.E.I. trying to arrange adoptions through Imagine at the time of the bankruptcy. Two have had matches arranged through the restructured company. They are the legal guardians of children from Ethiopia, and are waiting to hear when they can bring their children to Canada. Four are still waiting, and two have moved on to work with other agencies.

The Hayhows have been released from custody. They are due to appear in court again May 26.

Our Timeline

First Adoption

Started the process in Jan/11
Home study approval Mar/11
DTC May 16. 2011
LID June 1, 2011
Referral July 26, 2011
Sent letter of Intent July 28, 2011
PA Aug 4 , 2011
LOA 119 Days....Nov 28, 2011
TA Dec 20, 2011
January we're Parents!

Second Adoption

Started Process Feb/13
Provincial Approval April 26/13

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