It's so hard to believe that this year has had so mixed emotions for me. I was so excited over the thought of adopting a child and finally having the family that we've always wanted. I finally let my heart believe that we were going to have all our dreams come true. To only find out that our dream of a family was over this summer.
I loved the thought of some many people faught to keep the dream alive and are trying to get the agency up and running again. I so want to believe that it will really happen...I just can't till I know for sure that there will be enough people pay the retainer to keep the agency going. My heart can't take another blow right now. I just find myself crying all the time and I can't stop. If this doesn't go through we aren't going to have our happy ending.
I don't need to hear oh don't worry it will happen crap right now. The deal is people that all of our money is invested in this. By the time we pay off this failed adoption it will be too late for us to have a family. That's just reality....as hard as it is I have to accept it. That is what makes me so sad. I have no control over my future....and I don't know if I will ever get over this if we don't hear good news after Nov 30th.
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8 comments:
hey - i feel the same way. A part of me wants to hope and dream again and a bigger part of me knows that there is potential for huge disapointment. Sending hugs your way - cause that's all we can do until Nov 30th. Try to stay strong.
brenda
Be sad, angry, frustrated and cry whenever you want.
You have been thru the worst possible scenario.
We are all here to be your strength when you need it.
I feel the same why. I want to be back at that place where I felt anxiously happy and nervous excitement, but all I can muster is a queasy uneasiness and a feeling of crying/barfing every time I think about our adoption...
Thinking of you and all the other families constantly. Nothing about this is fair and I truly hope your dreams will not be shattered!
Take care,
Tammy
Vent anytime, we're hear to listen! And yeah people, everyone get their butts in gear and pay their retainer so dreams can come true (just my extra 2 cents in there)
Kelly, just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and praying that this all turns out positively so that your dreams DO come true. I completely understand the emotions you are going through in such a difficult time. You have lots of people right here who understand and will support you in your darkest moments. Always remember that. Hugs to you.
Carolyn
Thinking of you guys!
Stay strong and keep faith. You will be parents and your children are coming home.
I just read the update on Imagine's trip to Ethiopia and it sounds great!
Hope things are back on track and you get that referral call before you know it!
Take care,
Deanna
Hey Kelly and TJ
We are thinking of you and hoping that all things will work out very soon. We'll be praying for your situation.
Catherine
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