Nov 30, 2009
Happy but still uneasy...
I got an email today stating that Imagine Adoption will continue running. They had 246 families paid the additional cost to keep the agency open, so this means that we are in the clear till March. That is when we find out if the families will pay the second installment that is due to continue keeping the doors open. I'm happy to hear that we are over the first hurdle but uneasy till I hear referrals coming in. I want to see where I'm at on the master list of things. I thought I would be jumping for joy today with this news but I'm still feeling uneasy of the whole thing. It's almost like I'm waiting for the BUT moment. I don't want my heart to be broken again...and I'm not sure if I'm ready to open it up fully to news we got today. I'm scared to let it sink in. Maybe in time it will creep in there.
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5 comments:
I know exactly how you are feeling and you are definitely not the only one thinking the same. I was explaining to my husband today that I need to learn to accept that this is happening but my defensive wall is not allowing me. We have all been hurt so badly that overcoming it over night is not something that is expected of any of us. Time will heal us and let us accept that we will have our children someday soon. Hang in there. Natalie
I think I'd be feeling the same way, but I am very happy for you. This is a BIG milestone and worth celebrating! Your children are coming!
Alysia
I am completely empathizing too. Mentally I understand this huge feat but in my heart it's tough to get over the many number of "numb" months. Hang in there. We've come a long way and I'm confident that we'll make it.
(A master list and certainty through a referral will seal the deal for me, too.)
Ashleigh
thinking of you kelly! hope you have a great christmas and a better new year than you could ever imagine!
-lori
Thats great news that you recieved and hopefully you'll be hearing about referrals soon as well as recieving your own. :) In all honesty I would be feeling the same as you, I think, in your situation. After all that has happened it would be hard to let your defences down and feel all the things you did before. (You know what I mean) I do hope that some of the joy and excitment will return soon and that it will become easier to hope in the future as well. I keep checking up to see if there are any changes and I will keep doing so. Merry Christmas as well if I don't talk to you again before then!
Catherine, Jamey, Oksana and Landon
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