Funny how in a moment your emotions change.....

Today I woke up feeling that today was going to be a good day. I had the chance to hang out with my friends, go to the movies and even have supper with my wonderful husband. It was a good day. Then all of the sudden a Hallmark commercial changes everything. Funny how they can make you cry. Then I have to laugh at myself because I'm sitting here crying over a commercial. It didn't help that it was about Christmas and coming together with your children. Don't I wish. It's another year with just the two of us. How I look inside the spare room that is already set up for a little one to join our family and wonder when will I ever open that door to see our child sleeping in the bed. I find myself going in and rearranging the toys to find some sort of closeness to our child. Sometimes I think that I should put them all away till we get a referral, but a part of me needs them there to feel like I have some sort of connection with them. Some of you might find that strange...since it's more then likely that our child isn't even born yet. I bet those of you who are adopting know what I how I'm feeling. Sometimes I wish there was a monthly support group just so that I can feel normal. So you don't have to hide how you feel from everyone because they just don't get it. How I don't have to feel wrong for wanting a family now not later. It seems no matter how you try to explain how you feel to your closes friends they just don't "really" get it how you feel during this journey to your child. How you are excited that you are adopting but find the waiting sometimes hard to handle. I just have to remind myself that the it will be worth it all in the end.....I know there will be a day that I will look in that room and see our child fast a sleep.