I'm trying to keep my faith that something good will come of this but I'm finding it harder and harder as the days keep passing. There are so many people out there that have no idea about adoption let alone internationally adoption. I seem to be defending why we made our choice of international over domestic more these days. I just wish that I could play a recording of our answer so I don't have to keep repeating myself over and over again. This situation doesn't just affect TJ & I...it affects our mothers, sisters, brother, nieces, friends and the list goes on.
How do you think it was to tell our mothers the children we hoped to be their grandchildren might never come??? How can you tell my heart that the dream of having a family one day might never come????? How do I get over the guilt that is my entire fault for not being able to have children???
So tell me how to be positive during this time....because today I can't seem to see pass the darkness that I'm in.
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8 comments:
Kelly many good vibes your way, I think the whole group is sinking a bit we are all so sacred and tired.
I am sending you great thoughts for this hard day.
We have pulled off amazing things in one week and we will keep at it, till we the kids home, so scary I know but please know we are a strong bunch and on your low days one of us will have the energy to hold it up, till you re charge and you can hold it up another day when one of us crash.
Please go and watch the you tube video YES WE CAN, I was amazed at how much it help me to hear all the words knowing that most of the events must have felt so hard, yet with enough folks not taking no for an answer so much has changed.
Hope this helps a bit,
Shannon
ps I hear you about the family guilt, I hate knowing my family hearts broke as well.
If only I had the words to make things better. I do think that a lot of progress was made in the past week. All I can say is keep fighting- your kids are out there and they are worth it!
Carolyn
Kelly:
There are many that are thinking of you in this time. We hear the rallying cry of the lost families and are hoping that your cries will be heard by the powers that be. As Carolyn said, Keep fighting. Your children are worth it.
Eileen
Hi Kelly,
Don't lose hope...I truly believe your dream is still very much alive. Your children are waiting and you will bring them home. There is SO MUCH left to be done - we have only begun the battle...do not lose hope now.
I find it best to stay away from the comments posted after a news article/interview is done. (Although I did post after the Guaridan artile as "adoptive mother in PEI") We do not need to defend the fact that each and every child deserves a family. We do not need to explain to anyone why we choose to build our families the way we do. Just like we don't ask families with bio children why they chose to have their children 2 years apart, or 3 years apart, or why they chose to have 1 child or 4. It is OUR business and our choice so please don't feel you need to defend why you are adopting internationally versus domestic. A child is a child, no matter what country they were born in.
As for guilt - that's a useless emotion. Honestly, there is nothing to be gained from feeling guilty over something we have absolutely no control over. I am positive there is no one in your family who is blaming you for not being able to have children. And I can GUARANTEE you, all the people in your family will be so thankful to you and blessed by the miracle of adoption - which only you and TJ are able to share with them.
Sit back and take a deep breath and get ready for the next few weeks as we all do everything we can to bring the children home!
Take care,
Tammy
I totally understand. I am struggling with what to say to my two boys (ages 6 and 3) as we have always talked about their sister who is coming from Ethiopia, since my oldest had to be interviewed as part of our homestudy. We just got back from Ethiopia camp 2 weeks ago, before the news broke, where they played with all the other kids from Ethiopia and their siblings. I can't bear to tell them if this is not going to happen. I am avoiding it in the hopes that I won't have to say those words....
Claire
Kelly,
With all the love and determination that you, the other Imagine families and the adoption community in whole has pulling for this, there HAS to be a happy day to come. Your children are out there you need to keep fighting for them. You have gone too many rounds for your share but you have this in you to do it.
I agree with Tammy about the "guilt". You have to stop blaming yourself. You and TJ are a team and you will do this TOGETHER just as you have with every hurdle aleady.
We are all behind you. You ARE meant to have your babies Kel. You are already an amazing Mom. Don't let this dream die. One day at a time...one day closer to your kids!
It is like you are thinking in my brain!!!! I feel the EXACT same way. Especially the guilt part. We must stay strong to be powerful. Together we can hold eachother up. Keep Positive. I have strong feelings great things are going to happen!
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer 29:11
I don't know you very well and I don't know what you believe but this is what comes to mind when I think of both you and TJ. I believe that that verse is also meant for your kids. Don't give up hope Kelly, the hardest most treacherous journeys always seem to end with the greatest rewards.
We are thinking of you both very often.
Catherine and Jamey
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