May 18, 2009
GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!
I love talkng to people about our journey but it seems there's always one out there that says the stupidest things. I try to not let it get to me but I found it very hard today. I was in Sobey's getting some geroceries when I ran into an old school mate. She went on and on about her life and her kids. She decided to ask me if I had any children of my own. Once I stated that we were adopting from Ethiopia I could see her face turn. She asked me why don't you just have your own children. WTF!!!!!! Just becuase I will not get the chance to shoot out one myself doesn't mean that my children are not my own! It took everything in me not to scream this at her. Some people can be so insensitive. Come on people do you not think that dealing with infertility for the past 7 years has no affect on my emotions? I don't need your pitty or telling me how sorry you are. I'm not half a woman because I can't have children of my own. I'm still the silly girl that shared some classed with you at school. I have not changed who I am as a person...I just changed on how I will expand my family.
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5 comments:
Yes, I agree, for us also some people just never understood that their comments were so insensitive. Especially after dealing with the same thing for 7 years I know where you are coming from and it can hurt. I am sorry that you had to deal with yet another "un-informed" person in regards to "real" parents or not. Even now often people will ask me such things as, "What would her real mother do if she did that?" or "Do you think she misses having a real family?" My response always a little exasperated at the comment is "Well, Seeing as she calls me Mom and her last name is Wishart I am the best person to answer your questions, now what were you asking again?" :)
Some of the time they look at me like what I said was rude and forget it but others it really makes them think about how they word things when it comes to quesitons and what not. I hope it gets easier for you as more people start to learn the language and become more in-tuned to families created different ways. Just think how many years ago a blended family was so uncommon and now its basically nothing to have half siblings, step parents, etc.
He He He...funny story too...Oksana and all her little friends at school think they are so informed about grown up things.
we had to have a nice long chat to "fix" some of the information she had about boys and girls. Then popped the question, " Why don't you and Daddy have a baby and then I will have a brother?!" Ha Ha Ha..."I told her to start praying!" So guess what shes been up to!
TTYL
Catherine
People just don't think before they speak...Nothing can change those people. Uninformed is exactly what it is. As long as those who you are close with don't talk like that, you're good to go. Im sorry that you are feeling upset...grrrrrr would explain exactly how I would feel too.
I understand. I had some similar comments recently. I have come to the point of thinking of such people as just ignorant, not mean, and that makes me feel better because I really do think for most people it's just plain ignorance. But it still hurts. Just know there are others of us out here who do understand.
People can be very insensitive- I always wish I had a great some back but I am usually caught by surprise and forget what I wanted to say. It is very frustrating to hear those rude comments
Carolyn
This made the hair on my neck stick straight out so I can only imagine how you felt at that moment. You are sooo right.. WTF!!!!! I'll tell you something I told Carolyn one time someone made a dumbass comment to her....if your "friend" has another one...let's all hope it comes out SIDEWAYS!!!!!!!!!!
JIll
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