Nov 24, 2008
Why do men....
I was talking to a male friend of mine tonight and we were talking about how some fathers say they are babysitting their own children. Now why is taking care of your own children while your wife is out is called babysitting??? Now do we pay our husbands to look after their own children now??? lol It was a subject that came up this evening that I thought was funny. What do you think?
Nov 22, 2008
Adoption update!
We decided to up the age of the siblings that we will be adopting to the ages of 0-3 yrs. We have heard that it's getting to be a longer wait for children under the age of 2 so we figures we would try to up the age and see if things will speed up for us. We are still thinking the 2 years but will relook at it in a years time.
Nov 21, 2008
Nov 7, 2008
How to offer support
Seen this on Carolyn's blog but had to post it here for family and friends to understand how I feel.
I saw this on another blog and thought it was great. This is helpful information for family and friends regarding how then support those of us in the adoption process. I know that people do not always know what to say or do, so here are some helpful hints and tips.
Supporting an Adoption
Many times, well-meaning relatives, friends and co-workers do things or make comments that unintentionally cause pre-adoptive and/or adoptive parents unnecessary emotional stress.The following is a quick guide that may be copied and distributed to those people in an effort to educate them on how they can support you during the adoption process.
DO
1. DO accept our decision to adopt without question.
2. DO accept our choice of a child regardless of his/her race, heritage, age, social background, etc.
3. DO remain positive and enthusiastic during waiting periods.
4. DO offer to give practical help if you don't mind giving us your time.
5. DO respect our choice not to disclose details about our personal life and our decisions.
DON'T
1. DON'T tell us that if we adopt a child we will get pregnant and have a child of "our own."
Adoption does not cure infertility, and our adopted child will be "our child."
2. DON'T react as if adoption is a "second best" or "noble" choice.
3. DON'T question our capability or readiness to parent a child.
4. DON'T incessantly ask for news while we are waiting to adopt.
5. DON'T probe for details about the birth parents or the child. We'll tell you whatever we are
comfortable sharing.
Some Tips on How You Can Help us During the Post Adoption
DO
1. DO be happy for our new child and us.
2. DO respect that we may want and need quiet time with our new child to bond and adjust.
3. DO understand that we might not be able to fulfill your needs as quickly as we did before
we became parents.
4. DO respect our style of parenting.
DON'T
1. DON'T feel sorry for our adopted child.
2. DON'T make demands for our attention or our time during our adjustment phase.
3. DON'T criticize the desire to have and maintain a relationship with our child's birthfamily.
For additional helpful suggestions, please read "Supporting An Adoption" by Pat Holmes and/or "When Friends Ask About Adoption" by Linda Bothun.
I saw this on another blog and thought it was great. This is helpful information for family and friends regarding how then support those of us in the adoption process. I know that people do not always know what to say or do, so here are some helpful hints and tips.
Supporting an Adoption
Many times, well-meaning relatives, friends and co-workers do things or make comments that unintentionally cause pre-adoptive and/or adoptive parents unnecessary emotional stress.The following is a quick guide that may be copied and distributed to those people in an effort to educate them on how they can support you during the adoption process.
DO
1. DO accept our decision to adopt without question.
2. DO accept our choice of a child regardless of his/her race, heritage, age, social background, etc.
3. DO remain positive and enthusiastic during waiting periods.
4. DO offer to give practical help if you don't mind giving us your time.
5. DO respect our choice not to disclose details about our personal life and our decisions.
DON'T
1. DON'T tell us that if we adopt a child we will get pregnant and have a child of "our own."
Adoption does not cure infertility, and our adopted child will be "our child."
2. DON'T react as if adoption is a "second best" or "noble" choice.
3. DON'T question our capability or readiness to parent a child.
4. DON'T incessantly ask for news while we are waiting to adopt.
5. DON'T probe for details about the birth parents or the child. We'll tell you whatever we are
comfortable sharing.
Some Tips on How You Can Help us During the Post Adoption
DO
1. DO be happy for our new child and us.
2. DO respect that we may want and need quiet time with our new child to bond and adjust.
3. DO understand that we might not be able to fulfill your needs as quickly as we did before
we became parents.
4. DO respect our style of parenting.
DON'T
1. DON'T feel sorry for our adopted child.
2. DON'T make demands for our attention or our time during our adjustment phase.
3. DON'T criticize the desire to have and maintain a relationship with our child's birthfamily.
For additional helpful suggestions, please read "Supporting An Adoption" by Pat Holmes and/or "When Friends Ask About Adoption" by Linda Bothun.
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