Happy New Year!

Tired

I've been locked in my room for most of the holidays due to a cold. Deep down I feel that it's been my excuse to hide from everyone right now. I just feel tired and beaten down. This time of year should be full of happiness & cheer and all I feel is sadness. I just want this waiting to be over and have the family that I have always wanted. As each Christmas goes by without my wish coming true it only depresses me even more. As it's only a reminder of what I don't have in my life. With each gathering there's the questions that every waiting mother hates to hear. When are your kids coming? I just try to say something quickly as I make myself to another room in the house. Half the time you feel like you are walking around like a zombie. You can't seem to get away from anything this time of year that keeps reminding you of the children you have been waiting for. It's hard to get over the things our parents come to teach us that dreams come true at christmas time. That all we have to do is be good and make our wish to Santa. As we wake up on Christmas morning we run to the tree to see all our wishes came true. Well Santa I have been a good girl and my wish was the same as the last 6 years. Why aren't my wishes coming true?

Why do men....

I was talking to a male friend of mine tonight and we were talking about how some fathers say they are babysitting their own children. Now why is taking care of your own children while your wife is out is called babysitting??? Now do we pay our husbands to look after their own children now??? lol It was a subject that came up this evening that I thought was funny. What do you think?

Adoption update!

We decided to up the age of the siblings that we will be adopting to the ages of 0-3 yrs. We have heard that it's getting to be a longer wait for children under the age of 2 so we figures we would try to up the age and see if things will speed up for us. We are still thinking the 2 years but will relook at it in a years time.

My new hair!

How to offer support

Seen this on Carolyn's blog but had to post it here for family and friends to understand how I feel.

I saw this on another blog and thought it was great. This is helpful information for family and friends regarding how then support those of us in the adoption process. I know that people do not always know what to say or do, so here are some helpful hints and tips.



Supporting an Adoption

Many times, well-meaning relatives, friends and co-workers do things or make comments that unintentionally cause pre-adoptive and/or adoptive parents unnecessary emotional stress.The following is a quick guide that may be copied and distributed to those people in an effort to educate them on how they can support you during the adoption process.

DO
1. DO accept our decision to adopt without question.
2. DO accept our choice of a child regardless of his/her race, heritage, age, social background, etc.
3. DO remain positive and enthusiastic during waiting periods.
4. DO offer to give practical help if you don't mind giving us your time.
5. DO respect our choice not to disclose details about our personal life and our decisions.

DON'T
1. DON'T tell us that if we adopt a child we will get pregnant and have a child of "our own."
Adoption does not cure infertility, and our adopted child will be "our child."
2. DON'T react as if adoption is a "second best" or "noble" choice.
3. DON'T question our capability or readiness to parent a child.
4. DON'T incessantly ask for news while we are waiting to adopt.
5. DON'T probe for details about the birth parents or the child. We'll tell you whatever we are
comfortable sharing.

Some Tips on How You Can Help us During the Post Adoption

DO
1. DO be happy for our new child and us.
2. DO respect that we may want and need quiet time with our new child to bond and adjust.
3. DO understand that we might not be able to fulfill your needs as quickly as we did before
we became parents.
4. DO respect our style of parenting.

DON'T
1. DON'T feel sorry for our adopted child.
2. DON'T make demands for our attention or our time during our adjustment phase.
3. DON'T criticize the desire to have and maintain a relationship with our child's birthfamily.

For additional helpful suggestions, please read "Supporting An Adoption" by Pat Holmes and/or "When Friends Ask About Adoption" by Linda Bothun.

Still waiting.....to be a mom...

I have no real news to tell anyone about our adoption other then we are still waiting. It seems that we are getting long and longer waiting times. I was talking to my case worker and she tells me that the required ages that we are looking for are harder to find. We can other up the age or try to wait it out with the ages we have requested as long as we can. I'm not really sure what to do. I like many of you who are adopting just want to haver our children here with us now. I just want to me a mom. I don't think that is to much to ask.